too many times

It's so easy to be negative, isn't it? It's just not fair that it's not easier to be happy. How do some people make it look so easy? It's not. J does so many wonderful things for me and it's way too easy to ignore all of those the second he does something that upsets me. Why is it easy to forget the good and dwell on the bad? It takes a lot of conscious effort to be happy, I think, and sometimes I'm just not willing to put in that effort. But it's worth it right? I don't like crying, so why do I spend so much of my time with tears streaming down my face? I have so much to be happy about, but those few bad things get the spotlight. How many times have I said this, how many times have I decided that I am going to focus on the positive and then continued to focus on the negative? Too many times.

I am grateful that I have a job (if only for the next 3 months...). I'm scared for the future; it's nice to have a sound present.
I am so grateful for my family, for loving me even when I'm snippy.
I am grateful for music.
I am grateful for people with talent, for creating beautiful things that I can enjoy.
I am grateful that chocolate-dipped pretzels are so easy to make.

Life really is good.